AN001: How Are Your Money Memories Controlling You?

Childhood memories about money influence you more than you might suspect.

Have you ever wondered why one woman can look at a $300 blouse and think: What a fabulous design. The fabric! The styling! Then she’ll plunk down a credit card without hesitation. Another woman looks at that same blouse and says: $300 for a blouse! You gotta be kidding. The first woman sees an article of clothing she will wear and appreciate for years. The other sees a month of groceries.

Their reactions spring from more than the money in their bank accounts -- I’ve seen wealthy women eschew fine garments and struggling women go into debt to have them -- although financial ability certainly has a part to play. I believe it’s more about values and a money mindset, a worldview each of us forms from our childhood days.

Travel Down Memory Lane

Join me in a thought experiment: Think back to your early memories of money, say around the ages of 7-10. You’re just becoming aware of how the world works. 

Did you have an allowance? A savings account? A piggy bank? If you wanted something -- a new toy, an ice cream -- did the role of money enter the picture? Was there a trade-off with money being earned by a household chore? Were there discussions about savings or charitable contributions?

Now look back on the connection between Mom’s money and Dad’s money. What was that dynamic like? What emotions do you recall around money in your house: joy, safety, confidence, concern, stress, anger?

Chances are, the memories you’ve just brought to mind have influenced your current relationship with money in ways that you haven’t considered before. I recall the shiny silver dollars from my grandparents, given to me for childhood birthdays. Then there was the trip to the bank to deposit them, me proudly clutching my navy blue savings account book and sliding it across the counter at the teller window. (In retrospect, I likely would have done much better had I stashed that silver in a closet for decades, as my older brother did.) 

I also remember the mad morning scramble as my Mom was sometimes too harried as a working mother of three youngsters to get lunches made. I can picture her rifling through my dad’s pockets to find two quarters (about $5 these days) for my lunch money. My 7-year-old self silently vowed never to be in that stressful position when I got older. Yes, our money memories imprint us.

Our Invisible Influences

Unfortunately many women are unaware of the invisible influences these money memories have upon us. They tilt our hand in decisions we make, issues we avoid, or purchases we indulge in. Some bolster our confidence, others undercut our resolve. None should be ignored.

These powerful forces are just one of many topics I’ll be sharing with you in the weeks ahead as we explore the dynamics of women, money, and influence. Athena Notes will be a mix of the practical and inspirational, with real-world tips and strategies as well as ideas to stretch your thinking.

My challenge for you this week is to uncover some of your hidden memories about money. Pull them out and hold them up to the light. Pop them onto a Post-It note on your monitor or a bathroom mirror. Ask yourself: How have they been influencing my thoughts and decisions about money, in ways that I’ve been unaware of, until now? And once you recognize their influence, consider how you can make better decisions from a grown-up frame of mind.

Thanks for joining me and spreading the word so more women can claim their power.

Here’s to your money mastery,

Terri

PS: If you’d like to read more about my thoughts on launching Athena Notes (and how it got its name), you can do so here. And if this issue was forwarded to you, you can subscribe here. If you have a question or topic you’d like me to cover, I love hearing from readers. You can email me at athena@terrilonier.com.